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Corrupt-a-wish Game

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I wish to have whatever I want, whenever I want it.
Wish Granted.

You have everything you want and become a terrible person in the process...

I wish i was better at Volleyball.
Granted. You were better at Volleyball, but the difference in skill was so small that you didn't even notice it was there.

I wish I was omnipotent.
You're omnipotent.

Unfortunately (or fortunately), you're living alone in a desert, where you can only exert your absolute power on Benito, your cow, and Pol Pot, your goat, who are totally unmoved by your long and hysterical speeches on how you're going to invade Poland while listening to Wagner.

I wish i was omniscient.
Granted.

You are an all-powerful, all-knowing being. Many worship you as the embodiment of god himself; many come to your home to ask you questions about certain things, including paradoxes. Because so many people worship you and want answers, you have to constantly spend every single moment of your day answering questions, sometimes ones that are really stupid. Eventually you get sick of it and decide to kill yourself. All of your followers believe that you have abandoned them, and so go insane and thereby doom humanity. All because you knew everything.

I wish I could solve otherwise literally impossible paradoxes (including dividing by zero)
Wish granted, you have the ability to solve all impossible paradoxes. When you tried to demonstrate division by zero to someone without your abilities, you realized you created a black hole that destroys the universe. You are left floating in the space of a different dimension. You die and your abilities are lost forever.

I wish I was the champion at everything (including chess)
Wish granted.
Unfortunately the only way you were able to solve literally impossible paradoxes was to leave this three dimensional reality and become a six dimensional phenomenon. In your new state you can no longer enjoy any pleasures such as eating, looking at beautiful objects, listening to music, dancing, sex etc because you no longer have a three dimensional physical body let alone human senses as you used to know them.

I wish I was the best in the world at something
I'M A GENIE WHO'LL GRANT 2 WISHES OK
ahem

@KateKidna's wish:
You're the best at the world in chewing your food. Nobody cares about that.

@Dinosuarus's wish:
You're the champion at everything but again, nobody gives a damn.

I wish to be the 634563425734292659th doctor.
Wish granted, but long before you receive your role, the Doctor Who gets cancelled for running out of ideas. Also, good luck being immortal until then.

I wish I could have a completely not poisoned cookie with real chocolate chips and no raisins, that is not peanut butter flavored or covered in anything unsafe to eat with dough that is name brand. (Good luck XD).

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