Chess wisdom

Quote by Savielly Tartakower : "I never defeated a healthy opponent." (This quotation refers to players who blame an illness, sometimes imaginary, for their loss.)

Bishop1964: This quote by Tartakower inspired me to this story, in which I try decribe that even the chess pieces can have health or mental issues, some of them are trapped in their own stereotypical behaviour. Some of them are simply bored. Chess pieces have a lot in common with real people.

Chess pieces and some of their problems:
The king just fainted after castling.
The doctors told him : "Jumping is not good for you. Don't do this again. You are an old guy now. Make only one step after another. This suits you better."

The queen looked at her mirror and spoke : "Mirror, mirror, on the wall. Who in this land is fairest of all?"
Harry Potter told her : "I strongly recommend that you read more serious books like mine. These old fairy tales are not good for you at all"

The queenside rook spoke to the kingside rook : "It is so boring here. Let's go back to Lord of the rings / part 2 - The two towers. I miss this epic battle."
Ben Finegold spoke to the chessplayers who tried to play a positional game : " I advice you to change your playing style. Attack more or you will lose some of your pieces. And don't forget to move your king to b1."

The bishops cried all the time : "We want to pin. Pin it and win it"
The physiotherapist told them : "Pining is not good for you anymore. Do a little bit more skewering"

The knights shouted all the time : " We want to fork. We have a right to fork. There is a knight right to fork !"
The equal opportunities officer told them : " This is not fair. I recommend that you use in the future also the words "to spoon" and "to knife" .

And the pawns again complained about Bishop1964. This guy always forgets the pawns. Stupid player, but we like his stories.

(Taken from my original posting #122 in this thread) : lichess.org/forum/off-topic-discussion/story-time?page=13

october 29, 2019

Quote by Bishop1964

If you are bad chessplayer, then you should always keep in mind what Paul Morphy said.

The ability to play chess is the sign of a gentleman.
The ability to play chess well is the sign of a wasted life.

If you now lose a game of chess then you can speak to yourself.

Hey guy, who cares about this damn game. I am a gentleman , who didn't waste his time.

Taken from original posting #2:
lichess.org/forum/off-topic-discussion/press-this-button-if-you-are-bored-and-you-dont-know-what-to-do

october 29,2019

I guess that everybody who plays chess, knows Bobby Fischer. A lot of people are fascinated by the way he played chess. But how many people do know that his real life seemed to be a tragedy. He died at the age of 64, somewhere in Island, trying to run away from getting caught by the FBI (or maybe CIA or both ?)

This isnpired me to this comparison :

(Quote from Bishop1964)

Does anyone know what Bobby Fischer and Wilhelm Steinitz have in common with the cartoon character "The coyote" from the cartoon series "Wile E. Coyote and the Roadrunner" ?

In this cartoon series "The Coyote" always tries to catch "The Roadrunner". But he is never successful and he always fails miserably. One of the running gags is that "The Coyote" falls from a high cliff. After he goes over the edge of the cliff, he doesn't fall down immediately. Instead he is hanging in the air for some time, trying to run further until he eventually realizes that there is no solid ground under his feet. And then he falls down and crashes on the floor of the canyon.

The same thing literally happened to Bobby Fischer as well as to Wilhelm Steinitz.
Both guys belonged to the best chessplayers of their time. But both of them went somehow mad. Steinitz ended up in an asylum, Fischer developed weird conspiracy theories and had to flee from the FBI/CIA until the end of his life.
Both guys tried to catch "Their personal Roadrunner" without any success.

Fischer and Steinitz died after they reached the age of 64. Their 64th birthday was the edge of their personal cliff.
They ran further for a few month after their birthday until they realized that there is no 65th square on their personal chessboard.
And then they fell down to the floor of the canyon and died.

Maybe both of them were only chess cartoon characters, who tried to leave the chess board and failed ?

Original postings : #19 and #21
lichess.org/forum/off-topic-discussion/little-known-facts-about-famous-people?page=2

october 29, 2019

Quote Bishop1964:

We all know the expression: " You will never get a second chance to make a first impression".

This reminds me a lot of chess, where you normally can't take back a bad move.

But on Lichess you can allow your opponent take-backs, you can even grant them more time on their clock.

That is the real sign of a gentleman (or a sportsman) ! (referring to the quote of Paul Morphy)

I can't change the expression at the beginning of this posting, because I can't influence somebody else's opinion on me, but "I can always give somebody else a second chance to make a first impression on me".

It is possible to change your own opinion about everything and everybody, if you give it a try.

( I proved that case to be true in this thread : lichess.org/forum/off-topic-discussion/lichess-2)

october 29, 2019

Besides of learning chess, I have a second goal here on Lichess. I want to improve my English. Therefore I try to read and write as much as a can in English, because this forces me to check my vocabulary, to check my grammar and so on.

This is the reason why I post a lot in different threads in off-Topic discussions. This challenges me very much, because I have never done such a thing before.

In the thread #141 : lichess.org/forum/off-topic-discussion/story-time?page=15
"clousems" wrote : I just realized that somehow, this story now has to involve Garanimals, Warhammer, Covalent Compounds, a jail, Ben Finegold, and Ted Nugent. This could get weird.

I took this as a challenge and it was indeed great fun for me to write the following stuff in #142:

(Story : Ted and his journey to the center of his mind. {title was added now}

Ted Nugent (aka "The motor city madman) was sitting alone in his cheap apartment in Detroit City.
Almost all of his friends had left him, nobody wanted to visit his concerts anymore. He didn't understand what went wrong in his life. He was now addicted to heavy drinking and drug abuse to fill the empty time in his life.
He was crying all day long and spoke to himself: "What have I done ? What can I do ?"
And suddenly an idea came to his mind, which seemed to be so strange that it must be somebody else's idea. Maybe god himself has planted this idea in his head ?

I must change my life completely. I must change my bad image. I must get rid of some of my controversial political views.
But how can I do this ? I guess that some radical measurements are necessary to achieve this goal.

And so he went to his bedroom and opened his cabinet. He took out the warhammer which was hidden there for a very long time.
Then he went back to his living room and smashed all his gold records and all his prices and awards which he had ever won in his life.

But after doing this, he was not yet satisfied. He felt that all of this was not enough. He knew that he must do more.
The covalent compound between himself and his bad reputation was still existing

His image change was not complete.

And so he decided to abandon the music business at all and to look for a new job in the South.

Ted drove down to St. Louis to talk to GM Ben Finegold. He wanted to find out whether it would be possible for a 70 year old guy to change into the chess business. Maybe he could persuade Ben to become his personal trainer ?

Ben listened to Ted for one hour before he replied with the following words.
"Ok, Ted. I am willing to help you. But before we begin I have some warnings and some rules for you."

Rule 1: You must never forget that I am Grandmaster Ben Finegold and you are not !
Rule 2: Always move your king to b1 when you castle queenside. I don't expect that you understand that right now, but you will understand it soon enough.
Rule 3: Whenever you play a game of chess, leave your guns at home. You must win the game with your brain alone.

Warning 1: If you play chess, you cannot avoid to play against foreigners.
Warning 2: If you play chess you have to play against black people, maybe you like that ? I don't know. But in 50% of all games you will have to play with the black people. If you abort too many of these games, you will be banned on Lichess. Better be prepared for that.

And before you leave, I have one more advice for you. Get rid of that leather jacket. That doesn't fit to your new image as a chessplayer. Better you buy some new clothes. I strongly recommend wearing clothes with Garanimals on them. I see them a lot in my chess lectures on Sunday morning.

I know that such an image change is a little bit radical, but it is the only way to escape the jail, in which you have imprisoned your mind for much too long.

And I hope that your chess journey to the center of your board has just started.

(Warning. This is an ironic story. I don't want to offend anybody, who is mentioned in this story. This applies explicitly to GM Ben Finegold, to all people around the world, no matter which colour their skin has and of course also to Ted Nugent. Not to forget all the crystals and other unknown chemical things with covalent compounds. Did I forget something ? Maybe ? I will soon find out.)

P.S.
Dear Bishop1964,

My name is warhammer. I have to protest against your story, because I don't like the role which I had to play in this plot. Did you even consider that it could hurt my feelings because I had to destroy things ? This is the typical stereotype how people like you think. You better notice that I can also be a very useful tool in the hands of people who know how to use me effectively. I strongly consider to apply for a job in the Lichess-anti-cheating committee. I could do so much good in helping all these engine cheaters to stop their wrong-doing. I would bring them all back to the right path. Ok, maybe some of them would disappear forever. But would we really miss them ?

Sincerely yours

"warhammer"

october 29,2019

Enjoyed the story and the meaning of it. Thanks for sharing it with myself and hope that many others follow this advise.

🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃
mate runner - beginners cut - starting scene

player : Bishop1964:

Quite an experience to play chess, isn't it.
That's what it is to be a beginner !

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe.

Attacking queens on fire just in front of my king.
Lame knights at the rim, really pretty dim.
Poor bishops commiting a sin, never dared to pin.
Spooky rooks behaving like crooks.

I watched c-pawns glitter in the dark near my seventh rank.
All those moments will be stored online, all my tries in vain.
Time to resign.
🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃🎃

(This work was heavily inspired by the final scene of the movie "Blade runner")
Blade runner - directors cut - final scene

actor : Rudger Hauer:

Quite an experience to live in fear, isn't it ?
That's what it is to be a slave.

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe.
Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion.

I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate.
All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.
Time to die." )

Entry created on : october 29, 2019

@Bishop1964 : That Tartakower quote about bad opening reputation is so true. I recently broke the 1700 barrier in blitz by using the Bongcloud and Guatemala defense, with the occasional Hippo and Damiano thrown in.

From Irving Chernev's Logical Chess Move by Move...

It is an understanding of positional play that restrains the master from embarking on premature, foolish attacks and that checks the natural impulse to hunt for combinations at every turn. It counsels him in the placing of his pieces where they have the greatest potential for attack and tells him how to seize the vital central squares, to occupy the most territory and to cramp and weaken the enemy. And it is positional play that assures him that definite winning opportunities will then disclose themselves, and decisive combinations will appear on the board.

The master does not search for combinations. He creates the conditions that make it possible for them to appear!

@clousems
I am still a beginner in the chess business and I am a risk-averse player.

Therefore I have decided that I only want to walk on well-trodden paths in the opening.
I only want to play the openings which were played by the very best of the best. The world champions of chess.

My opening reportoire with white is already complete since GM Yifan Hou (former female chess champion of the world) successfully introduced a new opening to the chess circus in 2017.

I have to admit that I am still struggling to understand the whole theory behind this opening. There are simply to many lines and ideas which you have to know by heart. Sometimes I confuse the first 2 moves with each other because my brain doesn't work properly sometimes. But this opening is so flexible at the beginning that such small inaccuracies don't really matter.

I have to say that I played the main line very successfully in a lot of my short stories. The overall scoring is ok, at least when I look at the board from the other side. But I still try to improve in this opening. I try to find sidelines with the help of my engines. I found out that even the best engines have difficulties to solve all the problems which are hidden in this position. Some of my engines even stop working during the analysis and show some kind of unknown error symbol (#1. Damn, what does that mean ? I really have to attend a computer workshop).

I think that you already know that I talk about the Grob-opening g4, followed by f3. What a nice idea to support the g-pawn with the f-pawn. Now the f-pawn is also very good defended by the e-pawn and by the knight on g1. Before that move the f-pawn was only defended by the king. This overall idea is so wonderful. Never saw such a beautiful concept before 2017. Ever since that day, I think that Bobby Fischer was a fool. Thinking that he could give a woman knight-odds and still expecting to win such a game. Really foolish.

My reportoire with black is of course the move Nc6 against all moves except f4.

Against f4 I always play the gambit e5, hoping that my opponent plays e4. Then of course I will accept his gambit and play exf4. Now I know that I have a winning position because the kings gambit was already refuted a long time ago.
Never saw that a world class player nowadays plays this opening.

I guess I have to take a closer look at the openings which you suggested. Might be a good idea to analyze some of your games.

Happy Halloween.

P.S. Now I took a short look at the tutorial "Winning with the bongcloud". I instantly fell in love with that opening. Why did I waste so much time with studying all these popular openings. Everything could have been so easy. This opening is the perfect addition to my current openings. I am so excited right now. Took this stupid Silman book "How to reassess your chess" and threw it out of the window. Just searching for the 5th edition of this book " How to regress your chess". Have to make a note for later research: "What does that word "regress" mean ?" Never read this word anywhere before. Must be something spectacular !

lichess.org/team/bongcloud-enthusiasts

Entry posted on october 30, 2019