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How I lost Ruy Lopez with Nxe5

Yes 4 o-o Nd4 is how Spassky used to play it as black, but white keeps an advantage. Fischer played as black 4 o-o Nge7.
4... Nxe5 was not such a bad move. In fact it was a great move. Probably the best. Stockfish loves it. Over the next dozen or so moves however you played very passive, tactically, and strategically unsound.

8... Qb4 I feel would have equalized things. b2 pawn, king, and bishop all forked.

The move that bewilders me is the resignation after 19. h3 I mean ya, you are gonna drop that knight, but so what? After 19... d6 material is equal, and white has lost the initiative. With the knights traded off white has some real issues to deal with as

To visualize what this game was like for black in my head. It's like a person who loses their job, loses their wife, and gets cancer. Not saying they should, but you would understand at this point (say around move 14) if they said enough is enough, and killed themself (resigned)... Over the next 5 moves though, they go to the hospital and turns out the cancer has gone into remission, the hot nurse takes a liking to them and they get a new girlfriend out of it turns out that hot nurse is a sugar momma too so they don't need to work... Things are better for the life of that king than they have ever been in it's entire game... but BOOM that king blows their own head off at move 19 with a resignation when things are finally looking awesome.

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