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Imaginary Rating Anxiety

It's funny but I managed to combat this anxiety of the ranking (my elo/glicko points and my performances) by playing a lot and having a simple motto: be happy to lose, your opponent was stronger. it made me forget the difference in ranking, getting beaten by an 800 player is a joy. already, I already imagine my opponent in immense joy, happy to have had his best victory. when I was at 1100-1200 and I beat a 2100, it was an extraordinary event which I was delighted with. now that I have reached a level that I thought was unattainable, I live day by day, just looking to learn to break my routine. second, it showed me that the difference in ranking is worth nothing, but that the content of the game is worth everything, therefore, I always have to learn even when I lose against an 800: maybe I was too slow, maybe I missed a tactic or something. but this has had another negative effect on me... I can no longer rejoice in a victory, I feel no joy in gaining rankings, unless it is to please someone who wants to really that I reach a very round rating. I sometimes feel embarrassed when I win against someone at 2600+. I think I am more concerned about the results of others (teammates, opponents) than my own.
the only thing I really care about is the content, a beautiful game is worthy of my attention.

But since i have no stress with my method, i have better result in tournaments, because i can focus only on the content of the game, and I'm not fightin' for a result