what indicates that someone is a complete chess newbie?

I have seen grown men giggle like teen girls and teen girls slap people, when someone says that they can mate them in two moves

When someone says "CHECK" excitedly.

rating is a good indicator

@mansimum rating can be false, like for example @wolf_gamer2's rating

@mansimum
Come on man I was looking for jokes

Their hair.

nvm

when they play 1.c4

When they fall for the Scholars' or Fool's Mate.

When they call the knight 'horse'.