I would sentence you to jail with a library of chess books and rights to go out (escorted and in chains) to play OTB fide rated chess tournaments (you would pay for the fees with slave labor making 1$ an hour).
You get out of jail when you hit 2100 elo. If you don't, you rot in jail forever.
That will teach you to respect chess.
You get out of jail when you hit 2100 elo. If you don't, you rot in jail forever.
That will teach you to respect chess.