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I lost a game by means beyond comprehension.... help me understand please

Hi codagirl. Since you don't seem to understand what happened in this game, I've created a study showing what I was thinking as I check mated you. The notes below are copied and pasted from my study and represent my thoughts during the game.

It was fun, because I saw the main theme early, Qh2+ and was able to slowly work toward it all game.

I had a good time playing. It's too bad you cannot take your lose in stride and have to make accusations. Thanks for the backhanded compliment and encouraging me to look more deeply into the game though. I think I learned a lot. Play well (and study!) in the future. -five-nines

Link to my study:
lichess.org/study/Zbu16HNw

Notes in the study:
2. As black I typically play ...d5 ...c6 in some order on 1st two moves. Usually trade pawns on d5 or develop light sq bishop then push e6. Goal is to keep white bishop off c4 for the whole game.

5. Light square pawn triangle. Wait for good opportunity to trade light square bishop. In the meantime develop dark sq bishop, then Ne7 looking to short castle.

Common to merry go round dark sq bishop around b5 to end up on b6 pointing at base of white pawn d6. Try to work toward attacking d4.

All thoughts above are how I typically play.

8. All thoughts for rest of game are new/unique to this game.

No one ever plays Nh4 against me! Computer recommended. Not sure how to trade my light bishop?

My light bishop is trapped? Trading on g6 is better? ...Nxg6 preserves pawn structure.

Or ...hxg6? Opponent has castled. I have not. Lots of open lines on dark squares. Open up h file for rook. h2 looks weak. Like a fishing pole.

10. Must get Q to h2 and win the game!

Goals are to clear out my pawns and opponents undefended bishop to open lines. Move N and Q and long castle.

... Nd7 develops blacks last minor piece while adding extra support to ...f6 pawn push.

11. ...f6 attacks undefended bishop on g5. Forcing pawn trade on f6 or bishop retreat and break on ...fxe5. Keep prying open dark squares.

If white trades on f6 the bishop will be forced off black queen diagonal anyway. N on d7 supervises the exchange.

13. ... Bc7. Goal of game is to get Queen to h2 and win!

White's bishop on f4 is still undefended. Attacking it forces trade that leaves black queen on c7 pointing at h2. Enables castling and gets 2nd rook into game.

Or pushes white bishop off the h2 diagonal to e3 square. Both seem strong for black.

14. Excellent! Checkmate on h2 or castle if you cant.

16. ... e5. White's Bd3 seems like the worst move of the game. I wonder what my opponent was thinking?

Pawn storm forces pawn to e4, forking white pieces on f3 and d3. e5 square is supervised by black N and Q and I think storm is forced and white needs to move one of these pieces immediately.

Black rook on d8 aligns with white queen on d1. What if all the pieces between were removed?

17. Pawn is looking to force white N off g3 and allow Queen mate to win the game. Not sure what white can do?

18. Two pawns for a bishop is the best white can do. Plus N on f3 is still under pressure. Plus white queen is getting more vulnerable.

20. ...Nf6 unleashes double attack. And opens line for black queen to defend N on e7. Go up the exchange to add to advantage.

Computer recommends ...Ne5, attacking the white N?

21. Computer recommends white play Rd4. Neither my opponent or I saw this move. It appears to preserve the exchange and keep h2 defended.

22. Allign the rook with white queen.

23. Run and hide in the corner.

24. White might have back rank issues. Short a rook. White has lots of protection on e1. I'm not ready to trade rooks yet.

But d1 may open up? ... Qd6 doubles protection on g6 pawn, preserves h2 vision and gains vision on d1.

25. White's horse has broken out of the stable! h2 is vulnerable.

But the stoopid tricky N on e5 blocks the diagonal. Also white N threatens the underprotected d7 square with check on the black king!

I don't like any of this. Kc7 prevents white any 1 move or discovered checks. Allows black time to figure out how to attack h2.

26. White blunders for the fake fork. Finally black Queen gets to check on h2.

27. Forcing king to the e file. Night move will bring discovered check and win white's last rook. Forced.

29. Take the rook on e1. Cash in.

White Night journey has ended on h8. Having abandoned their post on f3 and losing the game, the night seeks glory on the edge of the board?

With this last blunder mate is now forced in the center of the board.

32. 0-1 Black wins by checkmate.

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