move 9: capturing with pawn makes it artificially isolated. Nxd4 would force the Queen back and move the Knight to a good post.
move 11: capturing just improves White's pawns. Nd5 may be better, but Nxe4 does close the e file and reduces White's control of the outpost on e5.
move 13: this should ruin your pawn structure, but White does not expose your e pawn. In this position, my first thought is to play b6 and finish development. After some thought I would play Nb4. This move threatens a pawn and supports removing your weakness by playing d3. White must play Bxb4 then move his King, after Bxb4+.
I think, from this one example, that you see the position as cramped and try to lash out.
I would suggest going to
chessgames.com and finding games with locked pawn chains. (advanced French, Benoni, KID, even Ruy Lopez) Study how the masters deal with cramped positions and use pawn levers.