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Hello, I need some help.

Hello dear chess players,
I'm 16 years old and I often play chess with friends and familly but we all play for fun and without using a lot of strategy. What i mean is i know some basic stuff like forks and some mate patterns. I know some things that can win me material but i don't to play moves that win game, win structure but not material. I usually think like if i lost a pawn i lost the game. So i really would like to step up my gameplay. How can i learn real chess ? Is there any books you recommand for example to learn chess for a 16 years old amateur ? :D thank you in advance.
If you really love and really want to learn chess, the best advice I can give is: Find a friend who is just as enthusiastic as you about the game and play as much and as often as you can. It's absolutely essential that you enjoy your chess but always play to win every game.
Play hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of games together and at some point you will see you will start to recognize tricks, patterns, structures that work or not, etc. etc. and notice WHY you are either winning or losing games.
It's a process. It will take time. A lot of time. There are no shortcuts.
Of course any source, like post#2, is helpful but there is no substitute for experience.
Hello.
I think the best for you to improve is analyse your games and try to learn from your mistakes. Chose a world champion you like and see how he plays, for instance, I think Fisher is very good for E4 moves and kasparov for D4 moves. Use a chess database software like Chessbase 13 (its very expensive but you can download pirate copies) or Scid (freeware). Play over the Grandmaster games. If you want to play against PC, there are Chessmaster or Fritz. So as you can see my advice is to play as much as you can rather then read a book. Play/ analyse game always and play over Grandmaster games.
Actually you will improve by making less mistakes and spot your opponent's. There is no secret technique that will make you win materials
"How can i learn real chess?"

It's important to study the endgame before studying everything else. This is advice that's usually ignored but I learned the hard way it's true. The endings should be studied first. An excellent place to do that is of course at Lichess.org. This link will give you 134 videos about endgames. en.lichess.org/video?tags=endgame

I also found good advice about the endgame and the other phases of a chess game from the Lichess stockfish which I use to analyze my lichess games.

After you learn the basic ideas of chess endgames I recommend the book "Endgame Strategy" by Mikhail Shereshevsky. You can also look at the 8 videos about endgame strategy at en.lichess.org/video?tags=endgame/strategy

Always try to have opponents who are much better than you are. After you lose badly who can learn quite a bit by studying the game with stockfish. I suggest don't be too quick to resign or do not resign at all. You can learn how other people finish a game if you don't resign. Also you could win a lost game if your opponent makes a mistake. Also, I suggest play at slow time controls. I use 15+10. It's also a good idea to play only rated games because then you can see your progress.

Be grateful you discovered lichess because it is the best chess website in the world.
I think the difference in terms you're looking for is just tactical play vs strategic play. Tactical play being the forcing ideas and lines - calculation related stuff. Strategic play being more about big picture and broad goals like targeting a specific square or creating an outpost.

I would generally recommend more or less ignoring strategic play outside of the most fundamental things (don't mess up your pawn structure without good reason, fight for the center, etc) until you're quite a bit stronger. Tactics alone can you take you easily to 2000 and above.

The reason for this is that strategy and positional dominance ultimately culminate in a tactical victory. But below quite a high level tactical mistakes are already very common so it'd generally be more beneficial to instead focus on training to help ensure you don't miss you or your opponent's tactical slips.

And on this front things like the Lichess tactical trainer or ChessTempo are optimal tools. Just make sure to try to actually solve the problem in its entirety before moving. It's tempting to just play the obvious "tactical looking" move and go from there and in all reality that will usually work, but it will minimize your gain.

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